Falling
by Golden-Tailed Hawk
Summary: he is fire and Darkstripe is falling


**Warning: Angst. Read at your own risk. Also, I don't own Warriors, obviously. I wrote this in four hours without stopping and without proofreading so I apologize if there are any mistakes.**

* * *

There was a certain time that Darkstripe felt most alive. When the sky was darkest and the trees towered menacingly overhead, that was when he held most power.

The ground would feel cold and hard underpaw, the night air silent and unforgiving, not a pinprick of light to disturb his frenzied, hungry thoughts.

Sometimes Tigerclaw would join him, his dark amber eyes glowing in the night. Darkstripe's sides would scrape against bramble clumps and he would wonder what he did to deserve this.

Then the kittypet arrived, and there was light in the dark. Bluestar wanted them to go on patrol at night, to keep ShadowClan on patrol.

"Be careful with him, Darkstripe," Tigerclaw had purred. "He might go running back to his twolegs." Darkstripe had purred emptily, because there was something about Firepaw was was different.

He understood why they named him Firepaw. Because he was on fire. Everything about him bursted with energy, flames licking the ground as he ran, words burning into Darkstripe.

"Why are you so slow?" Firepaw had asked one day, his emerald eyes gleaming as they skidded to a halt, teetering by the edge of a dip in the ground.

"It's dark out." Darkstripe had answered, tearing his gaze away from the apprentice's. Firepaw had looked up at him in confusion, breathing steadier.

There was silence for a moment. Darkstripe pricked his ears. The stench of the Thunderpath made him wrinkle his nose, and he forced himself to turn back to Firepaw.

"Are you blind?" the ginger tom asked. "Of course not!" Darkstripe scoffed. But Firepaw was confused, which was hard to ignore, especially since Darkstripe was right next to him.

"Why would you think that?" Firepaw hesitated, his eyes flickering to the sky, before he spoke. "It's not dark out."

Darkstripe blinked. Now it was his turn to be confused. It most certainly was dark. The moon was covered by clouds. But he followed Firepaw's gaze, and he saw the stars, suspended, shimmering.

He saw Silverpelt for what seemed the first time, and his yellow eyes widened. "Have you never looked up?" Firepaw teased, but Darkstripe barely head him. He looked around.

The ground wasn't hard and cold. It was soft and leaf-covered. The trees didn't loom, they covered, their branches swishing and swinging gently as a greenleaf breeze swirled. And then there was fire.

Firepaw's pelt was the brightest of them all, full of life and youth and a type of energy Darkstripe wondered if _he_ had ever felt. And suddenly Darkstripe felt alive.

* * *

He cheered loudly at Fireheart's warrior ceremony. His heart pricked with relief when he saw that Tigerclaw wasn't there.

Fireheart kept vigil that night, and so did Darkstripe. He squinted through a break in the brambles in the warriors' den, staring up at the stars.

"Darkstripe, " Tigerclaw had asked one day with angry eyes. "Do you happen to like the kittypet?" And of course Darkstripe had denied it, but his heart was flaming.

And then they'd gone on patrol together, Tigerclaw at the lead, because he'd wanted to find rogues. "The kittypet has been here." Darkstripe had said, and Tigerclaw had stared at him.

"You know his scent?" And of course Darkstripe had said it was just because their two nests were close together, that the two of them should be more careful recruiting rogues.

As he looked around, though, Darkstripe could see fire everywhere, in the sky, in the trees, on the ground, and he knew he was falling.

He got back and saw the source of the fire himself, green eyes gleaming, sending flames ten feet into the air, making Darkstripe's heart soar. He ignored Tigerclaw's glare. He didn't care.

Tigerclaw vanished into the warriors' den and Fireheart walked up to him and Darkstripe's heart pounded against his ribcage and he couldn't see clearly and he forced himself to just nod.

"Are you alright?" Fireheart asked, and Darkstripe's throat constricted. He fought for words. "Will I ever be alright?" he burst, and he cursed himself but them Fireheart purred.

Darkstripe looked up and saw both Graystripe and Tigerclaw glaring at him, then quickly ducked his head. "They aren't happy." Fireheart shrugged, and Darkstripe was breathless.

* * *

"Darkstripe." The cold words seemed to echo through the camp, and Darkstripe's blood ran cold. How could he follow Tigerclaw into exile?

Darkstripe was aware of a gaze burning into him, and without even looking he knew it was Fireheart. He didn't look. He continued to stare at Tigerclaw.

"Tigerclaw, no. I thought you were one of the finest warriors in the forest, but you _killed_ Redtail. And you plotted with..with that tyrant!"

Darkstripe had never like Redtail much, but he remembered how compelled Fireheart had been to solve the mystery of his death, so he automatically felt compelled to include it.

Tigerclaw had huffed something about taking things personally but Darkstripe wasn't listening. The only thing he could feel was the pounding of his heart. He looked up.

Fireheart was watching him. He was relieved. Darkstripe let out a breath at the thought that he was okay, that they were okay.

* * *

Someone was digging their claws into his shoulders. Darkstripe shook himself violently and the other cat was dislodged.

He scanned the clearing with gleaming yellow eyes, forcing himself to overlook cats of other Clans, forcing himself to search for cats with cruel collars and claws that glinted in the sun.

Firestar screeched, and Darkstripe ran. Scourge was standing over the ginger tom's body, satisfaction rippling off of him, before he turned tail and leapt back into battle.

Fear and anger washed over Darkstripe and he lunged after the BloodClan leader, knocking the smaller cat over.

Scourge spat and jerked his head around, sinking thorn-sharp teeth into Darkstripe's shoulder. No matter how many times Darkstripe twisted, the other cat hung on. Blood gushed, matting his pelt.

Light danced at the edges of his vision, and he went limp. The BloodClan cat let him fall and then pinned him to the ground. Darkstripe closed his eyes, wondering if StarClan would accept him.

Then he heard his voice. "Scourge! Turn and face me!" The pressure on Darkstripe's body was lifted, and he blinked red away. Firestar was running for Scourge.

StarClan help him, Darkstripe managed to think, before he gave way to a dizzying blackness that consumed his entire being.

He awoke with cobwebs plastered to his shoulder and the leader of ThunderClan crouching over him, eyes wide. "Firestar?" Darkstripe choked.

"You're alive." There was so much to those two words. Darkstripe felt as if his fur was singed. "Of course. I couldn't leave you."

* * *

Firestar had two kits, tiny daughters. Their names were Squirrelkit and Leafkit. It tore Darkstripe apart to even look at them.

Their mother was Sandstorm. Darkstripe couldn't even bring himself to hate her. Instead, he took it out on the earth, gouging deep holes in the soft dirt with sharp claws.

Firestar found him there one day. His eyes weren't gleaming, instead they were sad. "I'm sorry, Darkstripe." Darkstripe wanted to run to him. Instead, he hissed. "Leave me alone."

And so he did. Firestar simply dipped his head and turned away. They didn't speak for moons after that. Darkstripe tried to forget, with every fiber of his being, but he couldn't. He had fallen.

* * *

Firestar have him Squirrelpaw as an apprentice. He couldn't help but wonder why. Was the ThunderClan lead trying to mock him?

Squirrelpaw was a good cat, nonetheless. She was full of energy, eager to learn. Darkstripe realized with a jolt of pain that she was just like her father.

Then Squirrelpaw disappeared, along with Brambleclaw. Darkstripe wondered if she was dead. Firestar and Sandstorm were no longer speaking.

With no apprentice, Darkstripe busied himself with hunting. He brought back his weight in fresh-kill, then went out again. Cinderpelt came up to him one day, eyes wide.

"You're overexerting yourself. You need to calm down." But Darkstripe had robotically shook his head. "I'm fine."

It was a half-moon after Squirrelpaw's disappearance when Firestar first tried to approach him. Darkstripe turned away.

* * *

Graystripe was gone. Firestar refused to appoint a new deputy. He was so distraught, he barely seemed to notice his daughter had returned.

To make up for her father's lack of attention, Darkstripe spent more time with his apprentice. He listened to her. She was just like her father. Then she said something.

"My parents aren't speaking anymore. Mother stopped speaking to father when I became an apprentice. She doesn't like you much."

Darkstripe's heart felt as if it were shattering into many pieces. He had always thought of Squirrelpaw as somewhat of a daughter, and he didn't like seeing her like this.

"Is that so?" he managed to choke out. He knew exactly why Sandstorm didn't like him. He wished she didn't have to be so obvious about it.

Squirrelpaw nodded sadly, then looked at Darkstripe. "Do you know why?" Darkstripe didn't answer. What might she think of him if he told her.

"Perhaps she is angry about the fact that I was once Tigerstar's friend." he lied. He knew he had proved himself to the entire Clan moons ago.

Squirrelpaw shook her head. "I think it's more than that." She stared at her mentor. "You know what it is, don't you? Why won't you tell me?"

Darkstripe shrugged half-heartedly. Squirrelpaw flicked her ear. "Please? I won't judge you." she mowed. Her eyes were curious, just like his had been so many moons before.

Darkstripe hesitated before muttering, "I loved your father once." Squirrelpaw blinked in surprise. "Did…did he also…"

"I don't know. I'd like to think so. He never acts like it now." Darkstripe was surprised to see sympathy in the young cat's eyes.

"Why don't you two talk anymore?" she asked quietly. Darkstripe didn't want to answer, but he felt he was too far in not to. And she would know if he lied. She was much like her father in that sense.

"You were born." He tried his best not to sound resentful, he didn't want to hurt the apprentice any more than she already was, and he flinched at the sadness in her eyes.

"Why do you like me then? Do you even?" Darkstripe internally sighed at his carelessness. "You're your own cat. Parentage doesn't change that."

* * *

It was the first time Darkstripe and Firestar had talked in many moons. The ginger tom was sitting alone, watching the river flow. Darkstripe wished they didn't have to camp at Sunningrocks.

It wasn't like he could do much about it, however. If Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw's information got through to the other leaders, soon they'd be on their way.

Firestar turned around before Darkstripe had to speak. "Oh. You." His voice sounded tired and sad. Darkstripe squashed away any pity.

"Your daughter is having a hard time." Darkstripe coldly informed the ThunderClan leader. Firestar blinked and Darkstripe felt a surge of frustration.

"She's upset her parents aren't speaking." Firestar turned away so Darkstripe couldn't see his face. "Oh. There's not much I can do about that."

Darkstripe lashed his tail. "Talk to Sandstorm, mouse-brain. Isn't she your mate?" Firestar flinched. Darkstripe continued to glare.

"Not anymore." He stared in surprise. They weren't mates anymore? "What are you talking about? You love her!"

Firestar got to his paws and looked Darkstripe in the eyes. Darkstripe remembered how they had once looked, so bright and full of life.

"I suppose I do. But I loved you once." Darkstripe felt like the ground had suddenly disappeared and he was suspended in midair. He forced his voice to remain steady.

"What does that matter? You've got kits. Pull it together." He then spun around and walked as quickly as he could without making it seem awkward.

* * *

Firestar must've taken Darkstripe's advice to heart, because soon he and Sandstorm were together again. Squirrelpaw was much happier, but he didn't miss the looks she sometimes shot him.

The stars were bright that night, making the mountains glow silver. Darkstripe sat at one of the peaks, gazing at the sky, trying not to think of the night he first saw stars.

Before he knew it, Squirrelpaw was at his side. "Are you alright?" she asked. Darkstripe avoided her eyes. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Sandstorm and Firestar are together again. I know that's what you meant to happen, but what about you?" Darkstripe didn't answer.

"I'm fine." He tried his best to ignore Squirrelpaw's unbelieving stare and continued to watch the stars. "I'm fine."

* * *

Darkstripe had a kit. A kit that looked like him. A kit that was a mistake. He had never meant to have this kit. But he loved it. It was strange how life worked. He certainly did not love her mother.

Firestar was waiting for him at the entrance into the new camp. "What's that you've got there?" Darkstripe was almost compelled to ignore him, but he stopped anyway.

"My daughter." Firestar blinked. "Who's the mother." Darkstripe brushed past the other cat. "None of your business. She was never my mate anyways."

He paused. "She'll be apprenticed to Squirrelflight, if you don't mind." He left Firestar standing at the camp entrance, pushing away any thoughts about him.

* * *

Sure enough, Stormpaw was apprenticed to Squirrelflight, who seemed to be the only cat in the Clan who wasn't suspicious of Darkstripe.

Darkstripe tried his best to maintain a steady relationship with his daughter. It was one day in greenleaf when she asked the question he had been dreading since she was born.

"Where is my mother?" Darkstripe didn't know how to answer. He was left staring at Stormpaw for what seemed like hours.

"Your mother isn't a ThunderClan cat." said a calm voice from behind him. Darkstripe spun around. It was Firestar.

Stormpaw shrugged. "Whatever. Squirrelflight's got a hunting assignment for me." And then she was off. Darkstripe spun around.

"I can take care of myself, thanks." he growled. Firestar shrugged. "You looked like you were having some trouble there. I thought you'd appreciate it." Darkstripe looked away, his heart aching.

* * *

It hadn't been long since Stormstripe had become a warrior. Darkstripe had woken up in a dark, decrepit forest where mist hung so that you could only see right in front of you.

A shape emerged in front of him, amber eyes practically glowing. Darkstripe stumbled back, the fur on his neck beginning to rise.

"Hello, Darkstripe." Tigerstar purred. "Let me ask you something: do you regret staying in ThunderClan? Especially now that that kittypet doesn't…love you?"

Darkstripe cared more about containing his rage than how Tigerstar had gotten his information. He steadied his breathing and forced himself to meet his former mentor's gaze.

"I regret nothing, Tigerstar. I'm a ThunderClan cat." Tigerstar growled and sprang for him, claws unsheathed. Panic lanced through him and he frantically jerked himself into the waking world.

* * *

"You'll pay for your betrayal, kittypet lover." Tigerstar snarled, springing at Darkstripe. Darkstripe barely had anytime to react before he'd been pinned to the ground and his throat had been clawed.

Darkstripe tried to scream for help, but all that came out was a gurgling sound. Pain stabbed through Darkstripe's entire body as he convulsed.

His vision started to blur and he slipped in and out of consciousness. He was aware of blood pooling around him, sticky on his fur, and his daughter's scream of horror.

Through the blood and sweat he glimpsed Squirrelflight and Stormstripe by his side, Squirrelflight calling desperately for Leafpool and Jayfeather. But it was no use.

His ears picked up a rustling sound and Firestar was sprinting towards his limp body. "Darkstripe!" the leader gasped.

Darkstripe stared up at him, into his eyes. As he did, he wondered vaguely if StarClan would accept him for everything he'd done, plotting with Tigerstar.

Firestar was screeching for a medicine cat, but it sounded far away. Jayfeather and Leafpool's scents flooded over him, and then a distorted voice.

"There's nothing we can do, Firestar." Despite himself, Darkstripe's heart luched. Blood started to gush out of his open wound even faster now, and he twisted his head around trying to evade it.

He felt as if a string was pulling him up, and reluctantly, he gave in. His head fell back and he let the darkness wash over him. _StarClan.._

* * *

 **A/N: Well, that was a rollercoaster from start to finish. I feel like I'm the only person on Earth who ships this. Oh well**


End file.
